I was invited to a lunch meeting today by an acquaintance. It was a women’s networking group and I was a guest. Having a new business I really need to network and get my name and what I do out there. I was one the third person to arrive. The director was already there along with the acquaintance who had invited me.
Said acquaintance was having a discussion with the group director. She took a break from her conversation to greet me and introduce me to the director then went back to her conversation, making sure to include me. She said something and then added the phrase “Praise God” to it. Then she said, “You know the first thing people are going to say when they get to heaven? “Oh.” A light bulb will go on in their heads and they will simply say, “Oh”.” Then she said, “You know the first thing people are going to say when they get to hell?” First I thought, “Oh shit”, and then I thought, “What hell?”, but didn’t say it aloud. She said, “They’ll say, “Oh”. They’ll say the same exact thing just with a different enunciation.”
Then she and the director went on to discuss the fact that they don’t know how people make it if they believe this life is all there is. They think it’s really sad. Acquaintance then elaborated on her Bible study group. They get into some deep theological discussions. At the last one they discussed atheism. Apparently according to the Bible there is no such thing as an Atheist. Every last one of us, even cats and dogs, knows deep down that there is a higher power. There is a God. Atheists may suppress that knowledge, but deep down they really do know there’s a God. “If you believe what the Bible says atheists don’t exist. The knowledge of God is in our DNA”, she said.
I stood there silently letting her speak, not really saying anything. Like a deer caught in headlights I froze. I’m a guest at this event and I don’t really know anybody. I just met acquaintance Thursday night at a business after hours event hosted by the local Chamber of Commerce. Do I rock the boat? Do I tell her that the flaw in her logic is exactly that atheists don’t believe the Bible? Do I tell her that atheists aren’t the monster under the bed? That they might be the person standing right in front of her? I didn’t. I wasn’t sure how. I just smiled and said nothing all.
I just thought I’d let all of my fellow atheists/agnostics know that you are really just a figment of the imagination. There is no such thing as you. You do not exist. Now let us frolic next to the pot of gold underneath the rainbow like happy little leprechauns and spread our fairy dust throughout the land.