This used to be my favorite Christmas song. I would get goosebumps and my eyes would well up with tears at the very thought of this line: “Mary did you know, when you kissed your tiny baby, you kissed the face of God?”. I had a very emotional response to it.
I still like the song and honestly still have an emotional response to it. Sometimes it frightens me when I think to myself, “What if I’m wrong? What if the Fundies have it right? Where did my faith go? You could choose to believe just like you’ve always believed.” But when I believed I didn’t know a lot of the things I now know. I sheltered myself from the knowledge of exactly how the Bible came to be. I bought into it’s inerrancy and the preservation of God’s Holy Word by the Holy Spirit.
I cannot now un-know. How do I go back? I can’t. I could not un-see my parents putting those gifts under the Christmas tree and I cannot un-see what is clearly there with regards to scripture. Like the six-year old who had seen the curtain pulled back and the Wizard exposed for what it really was, I can never view God again in the same way. Maybe there is a God, but I cannot fathom that He is the God of the Bible.
The awe, the wonder, the magic of Mary kissing the very face of God in her tiny baby has been relegated to nostalgia much like Santa and the Easter Bunny. I can no longer believe in the magic, but I can still appreciate the fairy tale.
Do/did you have a favorite Christmas song? Share it in the comments if you like!