Out From Under the Umbrella

playing in the rain


Beware the Dilating Pupils

Students of the Woo – they’re normal.

I really don’t even know what to say about this.  You can read the article in it’s entirety here.

I did think of something to say. Because the more I think about this the angrier I get.  This post isn’t an effort to make fun of someone’s beliefs.  This kind of thing makes me angry.  I don’t see the difference between these so-called exorcisms and this.  It’s emotionally manipulative and dangerous.  I can only imagine that it’s keeping people who need honest medical attention  for either physical or mental reasons from getting the help they need.  It’s irresponsible.

I’m sure that it has never occurred to this girl has been around it and immersed in it since she was born that it’s akin to any other kind of witchcraft or sorcery whereby spells are cast and potions and elixirs are applied.  The only difference is whose name is called on to cast the spell.  I’m with Anderson Cooper on this one!  Stop peddling your snake oil! ***

***Post edited to add opinions which may or may not be of value. I just could not help myself.


Love is All You Need

It’s been a while since I’ve read this book, but it’s basic premise is this:  Women need love and men need respect.  Just look at it’s title.  Love and Respect:  The Love She Most Desires, the Respect He Desperately Needs.  Sounds good doesn’t it?  The answer to all your marital woes.  Easy enough.  Except it’s not.  Even the title makes it seem as if the husband’s love toward his wife is just a want, but her respect for him is a deep seated need.  Indeed there is a difference between wants and needs, is there not?  It sort of minimizes what a man should be giving and elevates what a woman should be giving.

Inside the flap of this gorgeous little gem is says this:

Discover the Single Greatest Secret to a Successful Marriage

Psychological studies affirm it, and the Bible has been saying it for ages. Cracking the communication code between husband and wife involves understanding one thing: that unconditional respect is as powerful for him as unconditional love is for her. It’s the secret to marriage that every couple seeks, and yet few couples ever find.

Today, you and your mate can start fresh with the ground-breaking guidance that Dr. Emerson Eggerichs provides in this book. His revolutionary message, featured on Focus on the Family, is for anyone: in marital crisis…wanting to stay happily married…who’s feeling lonely. It’s for engaged couples…victims of affairs…pastors and counselors seeking material that can save a marriage.

Using Dr. Eggerich’s breakthrough techniques, couples nationwide are achieving a brand-new level of intimacy and learning how to: – stop the Crazy Cycle of conflict – initiate the Energizing Cycle of change – enjoy the Rewarded Cycle of new passion

And if you’ll take this biblically based counsel to heart, your marriage could be next!

Here’s the thing that this book doesn’t tell you:  Women need way more than love and men need way more than respect and both of these things are earned.  In fact it’s doing all that other stuff that earns you love and respect.  And a little secret?  Men need love and women need respect.

This book promotes the idea that a wife should give her husband respect because of his position, regardless of his behavior and that a man should love his wife regardless of hers – unconditionally.  When the little woman gives her man unconditional respect it magically transforms him into a man that deserves that respect.  Not only that but he then begins to love the wife unconditionally.  Or when the man is fed up and at his wits end, if he’d just unconditionally love his woman, she’ll suddenly come to her senses and start to give him the respect he so desperately needs.

For some marriages this may be true.  Maybe both people are really good people and they’ve just begun taking each other for granted.  That implies, though, that the man is respectable in his own right and the woman lovable in hers.  That isn’t always the case.

Most people I know need things from their partner(yes, I said partner) like honesty, faithfulness, reliability, and affection.  These are mutual needs. If you want to be respected, be respectable.  If you want to be loved, be lovable.  If you want  either of these things then be honest, faithful and reliable.  Don’t just assume that your partner owes you love or respect.  The idea that one should simply unconditionally respect or love their partner is ludicrous.  It gives license to take advantage and take for granted your partner.

Am I saying that this book offered no insight into marriage relationships and that I got nothing useful from it?  No.  I did take it’s advice.  You see, at the time I read this I believed every word of it.  My marriage was in trouble and I needed to stop the Crazy Cylces.  This book posited the idea that just one person in the the relationship could do this. They can’t.  Sure, the crazy cycles may get diffused for a while.  But they don’t stop.  One person in a relationship cannot do the hard work for two.


Starting Over…Again

So I’ve been super busy and when the time changed it messed up my whole running schedule.  I got sidetracked and then I decided to sell my house and then I moved and then..well…you get the idea.  Anyway that led to a major backslide and instead of running sporadically I wasn’t running. at. all.

Now I’m all settled in my new place and it’s right in the heart of the city.  Bright lights, nice side walks, plenty of opportunity.  I no longer have any good excuses for not running, like no good place to go, and it’s so dark and I don’t feel comfortable going by myself.  You see before it was dark when I got up and dark when I got home and being in a rural area left me a little ambivalent about running alone.  Okay a lot ambivalent.

I decided I’d get off my butt and get back out there.  Who knew it would take such a short time to get so out of shape?  Almost like I never ran at all.  Well that’s not exactly true.  I didn’t think I was gonna hack up a lung.  But I did feel I had to start all the way over at Week 1 Day 1 of the C25K program.  Walk 30 seconds…run 30 seconds.  For twenty minutes.  And while I didn’t think I was going to hack up a lung today I feel like someone took a baseball bat to my rib cage and my sides all the way down to my hip joints.  On the bright side my knees don’t hurt.

Why, oh why, did I stop in the first place?  Oh yeah. All those really good excuses.  And I don’t really even know why I made those excuses because I really do enjoy it once I’m out there.