Out From Under the Umbrella

playing in the rain

Give it All You’ve Got, Ladies!


I’m a ten-year-old trapped inside a forty-two year old body.  I’ve never understood that to do something “like a girl” meant to be weak, to give half an effort.  Just what the hell is dainty?

Everyone should feel at home being themselves in their own skin.  If you can’t feel comfortable in your own skin you’ll never feel comfortable anywhere.

I’ll admit that the message of what it means to be feminine, to allow the man to be the strong one and not show him up, had it’s hooks in me for a time.  A long time.  But even then I’m pretty sure I was doing it wrong.

I’ve always been mechanically inclined.  I’ve always loved to use circular saws, and miter saws, and wet saws, and power drills, and the blower, and the mower.  Tools are not gender specific.  They don’t know if they’re in the hands of a man or a woman.  A man can wield a Hoover every bit as effectively as a woman can.  The Hoover doesn’t know and it doesn’t care who switched the power on.

I’m not particularly athletically inclined.  Neither are a lot of men I know.  That doesn’t mean when they try they’re doing it “like a girl”.  It just means it’s not their forte.  So what?

In everything I try to do I give it 100%.  I don’t care if I look stupid.  When I run I run hard.  When I throw I throw hard.  When I punch I punch hard.

To the women out there; don’t let being a woman make you feel weak or inferior.  Do what you want to do and do with everything you’ve got.  To the men out there;  if you’re intimidated by a woman doing it “like a man”, get over yourself.  Either get better at whatever it is or accept the fact that women are exceedingly capable of most anything we set our minds to.

Women:  Do you typically hold yourself back in order to make a man look good?

Men:  Do you expect a woman to behave like they are incapable so that you can feel better about yourself?

What a load of rubbish!  Why on earth would any man want a woman to hold herself back, to waste her talents, to squelch her passions?  I, for one, want a partner who gives all they’ve got to whatever they’re doing.  I want him to succeed and to dream big and accomplish it.  Why would a man want anything less in his partner?


33 thoughts on “Give it All You’ve Got, Ladies!

  1. Powerful video. Powerful post. Thank you!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Wow! What brought this on? You know me and gender specific insults and subliminal patriarchal put-downs. Luckily I’m cooking and working, so I won’t start.

    Nod transition starts well before puberty though. Studies show (I love that generality, but my book with the details in is back at the finca) that gender roles and language starts with babes in arms …

    Liked by 1 person

    • I saw the clip and it inspired me. Not to mention that for so long I languished in the shadows being the “help meet”. In a patriarchal society it is the woman’s job not to outshine a man and it’s the woman’s job to make a man look good. WTF?

      I’ll give a nod to your indoctrination theory. I totally agree with that. Girls are given pink to wear, boys blue. Girls have hairbows and dolls and pierced ears shoved at them from the time they’re infants. Boys have toy soldiers and building blocks and erector sets.

      I don’t exactly fit the typical girly upbringing, though. My parents didn’t do the stereotypical boy/girl thing. I’m not even sure I had a doll until I begged my mother for a Barbie when I was about six or seven. Only then because that’s what all the other girls played with. When she found it face down in the mud in the driveway she told me not to ask for another. Another? I didn’t know what the hell to do with that one!


  3. ‘Nod transition’? Got to love predictive text. No idea what it was meant to say after that whacky interpretation has driven original thoughts clean out of my head.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. If you haven’t seen this yet, I can’t recommend it enough.


  5. Great post .
    I believe everyone should express themselves fully the best way they know how.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Men:  Do you expect a woman to behave like they are incapable so that you can feel better about yourself?


    Liked by 1 person

  7. Good post. If you had $1000 in your bank account, would you refuse to use $500 of it and insist it be wrapped up in pretty ribbons? Not using the potential of half of our population is sheer cultural silliness.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. One of the reasons I keep bumping up the bride price for my daughter is so I can keep her here to fix ”stuff”.
    From Cakes to Carburetors.



  9. Another fantastically empowered post. I thoroughly enjoyed it Ruth.

    Those last two questions you had for both genders, I thought I was going to be invited to answer. Now, I think that wasn’t your intention. So I’ll simply leave this as MY type of woman…”A lady in the parlor, a harlot in the bedroom.”

    I myself would tweak that ‘Churchill-esque’ phrase like this — “A confident sassy lady in the parlor, a dark insatiable harlot in the bedroom.” I much prefer a woman who handles herself well publically and privately, because I encourage it… both with me or without me. She is her own person, to be as she sees fit. If that compliments me in my quest to be better, then more power to it!


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