Out From Under the Umbrella

playing in the rain

Who cares about beauty? (Advertisers make girls feel ugly)


I couldn’t agree more! If I had all the money I’ve spent buying cellulite cream back…well…I’d have a lot more money! I’ve had it since I was ten, for crying out loud! How many of us have purchased products based on the promise that we’d get shinier hair, whiter teeth, an even complexion, flatter abs, no muffin tops, perkier, or bigger, or smaller breasts?

If we take time on our appearance we’re vain. If we let ourselves go we’re lazy.

It has taken me nearly all my forty-two years to get to a place where I’m comfortable in my own skin. I think I look better and I know I feel better than I ever have. Most of my life I’ve spent comparing myself to unrealistic, airbrushed, and photoshopped images of what it means to attain perfection. No longer!

I’m inviting everyone – everyone – men included to comment here and tell us all one thing beautiful about yourself. Don’t be shy, now.


Source: lisapetrilli.com Are girls vain just because they feel pretty? Source: lisapetrilli.com
Are girls vain just because they feel pretty?

I wrote a post a while ago about beauty and why I think society’s obsession with women achieving unrealistic standards of beauty is dangerous. This topic is fascinating to me, and I’ve realized that I could write more posts about the topic of beauty. It’s complex, subjective, and broad. Since I can’t write just one blog post on the topic of beauty, I’ve decided to break the topic into a series of blog posts.

I’ve created a new category on my blog, called Who Cares About Beauty. I’ll be covering topics that I’m interested in at the moment. The topic for this post was inspired by blogger Grace Curly and her post Pretty.

For this post, I wanted to focus on the problem with beauty in advertising.

Grace Curly’s post got me thinking: “Why are women told to…

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16 thoughts on “Who cares about beauty? (Advertisers make girls feel ugly)

  1. OK, Ruth – I’m goin’ first. . . .I’ve got a BEAUTIFUL sense of humour!! If you don’t believe me, just ask the ones who’ll laugh when they read my response. . . 🙂

    It shouldn’t surprise you to know that it’s the attribute I find the most attractive about men, as well – their ability to make ME laugh. ..

    Liked by 2 people

  2. In one of the most memorable afterdinner conversations I have ever had, I remember my charming girlfriend’s answer to my question what she was thinking: “I was thinking of what nice eyes you have”.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. My wife is from Philippines, so we hit the Asian market pretty often. You should see all the advertisements directed at brown skinned Asian women for skin bleachers and whiteners. Most of the young glamour actresses in Philippines, Korea and Japan have bleach white skin for the current ideal of beauty. It grosses me out.


    • You know, I’m all for people doing whatever they need to do to feel better about themselves, but don’t you think most people would feel better about themselves if they weren’t constantly comparing themselves to somebody else. And I think that does begin with advertizing. In order to sell products advertisers must first create a “need” in the mind of consumers. I just wish more people didn’t feel the need to be something they aren’t just to feel beautiful. It’s a shame, really.

      Liked by 1 person

    • It’s weird how countries where people have darker skin, fair skin is prized. In countries where people are pale and white, having a darker skin tone or a tan is prized. As someone who is half white and have Indian (India Indian not native) I have reasoned everybody wants to look just like me. Nice. 🙂


      • I’ve spent a good portion of many a summer trying to get a decent tan. I never have attained much of one. I burn easily. I’ve learned to embrace my inner vampire.

        Liked by 1 person

        • Haha…In India fair skin is super important to beauty. A majority of Indian people are actually fairly dark. Especially in the south. Yet every Bollywood star is almost indistinguishable from your average white person here…they just look like a tan white person. lol But tanning salons are huge here for a reason. I know many people who feel that they look sick if they are too white. *shrug* I don’t really get it. Makes you wonder why people are racist though if dark people want to be lighter and light people want to be darker. lol


          • It is kind of silly, isn’t it? Always wanting what you don’t or can’t have. Recipe for frustration and dissatisfaction if you ask me.

            I did the tanning salon thing in my younger days. Waste.of.time. Not because it doesn’t work, but because that’s a half an hour a day I’m never getting back and I can think of a lot better things to spend my hard-earned cash on. Besides, who in their right mind PAYS for the opportunity to get skin cancer and wrinkles? o_O

            Liked by 1 person

          • I know! I actually convinced one of my students to stop going to tanning salons. I’m actually quite proud of that.

            Liked by 1 person

  4. — For the sake of comedy —

    Well, I’ve had to wittle them all down to three things: calming, very approachable, and HANDSOME. I hear those three the most… oh, along with my ENORMOUS… modesty!

    Or is it grandiose self-delusion? I think I’ve heard that one once or twice. 😛 😉


  5. As a pure physical attribute, I guess the part I like the most about myself, and where I think I get the most compliments is my hair. Thick and lustrous and doesn’t show any signs of thinning at 41. lol

    The quality I like in myself the most, that comes from compliments from others is that people find me genuine. Upon meeting me they know the kind of person they are dealing with, good or bad, and I like that about myself. I guess it is comfort in one’s own skin. I’ve never been really one to compare myself to others, but have certainly not always had high self-esteem, but mostly because I haven’t lived up to my own expectations of myself. I think being comfortable in your own skin is something that takes time. As I might have mentioned before, in my reading into individuality, the sense of individuality comes from looking and watching others, in order to know how we are similar and how we are different. We also learn behaviors and motivations by watching others. I think it’s natural to therefore compare ourselves to others in order to navigate in this world, and I think it requires some maturity before we shed that instinct, because I feel it has value when you are young and don’t know a thing. Eventually when we have enough understand of the world to forge are own way and think about the example we will set for others who watch our behavior we start comparing less and less. At least that’s how it should be. Just an opinion though.

    Liked by 2 people

    • I can see that with the hair. You do have a lot of it.

      I think you’re right about comparing ourselves to others being the only barometer in life we have for a while. When we’re younger we have to develop a sense of direction from somewhere. As I age I find I compare myself less and less to others but I also have a higher and higher standard of ethics for myself, personally, which I think lends to being comfortable in my own skin. I know what I expect from myself and what I want for myself.

      Sincerity is a valuable trait. It makes people beautiful from the inside out. I hope that’s a thing that can be said about me.

      Liked by 1 person

      • I think it also takes time to really be emotionally aware too. Not just of yourself but of others. I remember when I went to India at the age of 10 to meet a lot of family for the first time. I was very much excited by the sights and sounds. Just the sort of spectacle of things. Cows in the streets. Elephant rides. Traveling musicians. Wandering food vendors that would come down the street selling roasted peanuts, or vegetables, etc. I remember really wanting to please my cousins, and would let them fool me, but thinking they were teaching me another language, but really only getting me to say swear words in that language to my dad or aunt. lol I mean it was a bit mean for them to take advantage of my naivety, but not a big deal in the end. The point is as that as a young person everything was sort of surface based. When I went again at the age of 19, the things I noticed about the country were completely different. The poverty and beggars. My aunt have low caste people as maids and cooks, watching them be there everyday, but nobody ever really saying a kind word to them and watching them eat hidden away in a forgotten corner of the house. I noticed a lot of joy and happiness as well in people who had a lot less than I do and it had a huge impression on me. I noticed culture, I notice social interactions. I wanted to get to know my cousins instead of please them. I cared whether they were good people or not. It’s hardly surprising that I had this attitude being 9 years older, but I also don’t feel like that any 10 year old would be any different either, so there is certainly a transition we make and maybe it’s just being aware of the complexity of life. Maybe it’s being more aware not just only of people’s emotions, but the possible context for those emotions that leads us to seek a more meaningful and lasting way to have happiness. Maybe it’s just because we accumulate more emotional experiences with time that we look for meaning with more substance than we did when were young. Some people never seem to make that transition though so I don’t know…perhaps I’m just very fortunate.

        Liked by 1 person

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