Out From Under the Umbrella

playing in the rain

The End is Nigh

50 Comments

end-of-the-worldIn 2012, Chuck Norris, the kick-ass king of martial arts and star of Walker, Texas Ranger, produced a video with his wife predicting “1000 years of darkness” if Obama won a second term.  In it he proclaims, ““If we look to history, our great country and freedom are under attack. We’re at a tipping point and, quite possibly, our country as we know it may be lost forever if we don’t change the course in which our country is headed.”

Dun, dun. dunnnnnnn…….

Now he’s making more *cough* predictions.

According to him Barry O. is now importing Muslims into the U.S. illegally, is going to grant them amnesty, and get them Nationalized before the 2016 election to make sure the democratic nominee for the presidential election wins. He states, :

That’s a pretty tall order.  Also fairly impossible.  Frankly, I’m mad as hell.  TheBrit hasn’t gotten his letter urging him to naturalize.

First of all it’s obvious that Norris and those who are buying this equine fecal heap have no idea how the immigration system works.  Second of all it’s obvious that Norris nor those who are buying this equine fecal heap have no idea what President Obama’s immigration plan even is.  Furthermore that plan has been blocked by the Federal Court.

So….no, President Obama does not now, nor has he ever had a “strategy to “seed your communities” with at least 70,000 refugees a year, including Iraqis, Burmese, Bhutanese, Somalis, Cubans, Syrians and others. And the numbers of Syrians, mostly Muslim, will surpass them all,” as envisioned by Norris.

President Obama’s plan was not amnesty.  It was not a plan to get undocumented immigrants naturalized by the 2016 election.  That’s a fairly ridiculous assertion.  President Obama’s plan was to get undocumented immigrants documented.  They would have to pay a fine for being here illegally.  They would have go to the back of the line for long-term permanent residency. They would have to pass all the background checks to make sure they aren’t criminals.  Then and only then would they be documented.

But there’s no way on this green earth that we’re going to round up all the illegals and send them back where they came from.  Obama’s plan would be far less expensive than that.  It would weed out the criminals, who could/would then be rounded up and sent back where they came from or sent to jail depending on where they committed their crimes.

According to Norris, PJ Media obtained an internal letter written by Leon Rodriquez, director and co-chair of the Task Force on New Americans, which refers to a White House report called, ‘Strengthening Communities by Welcoming All Residents’.  Norris claims this letter states, “This report outlines an immigrant integration plan that will advance our nation’s global competitiveness and ensure that the people who live in this country can fully participate in their communities.” The horror!

Then Norris adds, “Of course, “fully participate” is code for granting voting rights and specifically re-electing a Democrat president.”

What a cunning and diabolical plan!  Mwhahahaha!  I can see the President wringing his hands and using a villainous laugh as the smoke rises from beneath his feet.  And it’s genius.  Except it can’t happen.

Could it be that “fully participate” means legal employment, paying taxes, having to participate in the Affordable Care Act, and going to school?

Nah, that would make too much sense.

The reason why TheBrit didn’t get his letter, though, is an interesting one.  He came here legally.  Which means he’s in line in the order in which he applied for long term permanent residency behind all the ones in front of him.  He’s not even eligible to apply for naturalization for at least another year.  And those 9 million green card holders?  If they’re holding a green card they’re here legally.  They can only naturalize if they’re eligible to naturalize.  There are a lot of green card holders who will never be eligible for anything more than a ten-year residency.

This whole conspiracy theory has so many flaws and holes in it it’s ridiculous.

The cherry on top?  The icing on the cake?  Norris finishes his diatribe with this crescendo, “Obama has literally helped build the environment for the Apocalypse, as defined by both Muslims and Christians.”

Take heed and look to the skies, my friends, the end is nigh.

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50 thoughts on “The End is Nigh

  1. Do you think i can get this letter too or do I have to be Muslim first?
    Norris, I think, has gone off the rails. He is smoking bad stuff.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. As a Brit myself, when I hear of this kind of vatic ordure in your country I keep reassuring myself that it emanates from a dying breed; but is that so do you think Ruth?

    Liked by 2 people

    • I’m not sure, Hariod. This kind of prophetic, apocalyptic rhetoric definitely plays to a particular demographic, but I’m not at all certain it has anything to do with age. It’s a die hard, ultra right wing conservative, democratic party-hating demographic. From what I’m seeing that demographic isn’t made up of a particular age-group but more by the level of education. I’ve been quite surprised at the number of young people who buy right into this garbage. I won’t say it’s a majority because I don’t think it is. But it’s a large enough group for me to realize it’s probably not going away anytime soon, if ever.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I have a friend who keeps telling me that President Obama is really a Muslim and has a secret agenda to promote Islam. This friend is a very active fundamentalist Christian. This same person assured me that Phil Robertson of Duck Dynasty is likely to be the next U.S. president. He also told me that Mickey Mouse gains more votes each presidential election than any of the formal candidates. These are the sort of things being canvassed in right wing Christian circles.

    It reminds me of some years ago of when Time Magazine had a survey of the most evil person of the twentieth century, apparently Bill Clinton came in first and Hilary Clinton second. This was despite neither of them even being on the list of candidates. It just shows how warped the thinking of some people can become.

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    • I’d love to have a recorder in my office. Some of the conversation that take place there are….quality entertainment. I regularly hear that Obama is a Muslim. Unfortunately these people actually believe such nonsense and vote based on their hatred. It’s quite disheartening.

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  4. Chuck Norris, Texas Ranger, is not even from Texas but Oklahoma. There’s the first misnomer. 😉 Yes, I know that’s trivial, but I try so damn hard (as an 8th generation Texan) to make fun of my own Natives, or more importantly point-out “claimants” to Texas as farcical, like this man. However, as Norris is amply demonstrating, he does hail from one of the Union’s most radically Xian states. 😦

    Since well before the First Temple Period (pre-587 BCE), apocryphal rhetoric has been shouted in all Hebrew town squares up to the present day. Oh look… I’m reading this good post by Ruth, and typiing this comment. Seems all the Jewish & Xian prophesies of The End for the last 26+ centuries (or 2,600+ years!) have been wrong. Furthermore, thanks to modern science and cosmology, astronomy, physics, etc, etc, the end of Earth IS NOT big news anymore! Hasn’t been for many decades! Our Sun will end, ending life on Earth, or a large asteroid will hit Earth ending life here, or humanity will destroy most of life on Earth by ignorant neglect of its health and resources. Duh Mr. Norris! And for that matter, duh for any other biblical Xian, Muslim, Jewish prophets — tell us something we don’t yet know… like the existence of extra-terrestial life or other planetary systems of Earthly life! 😀

    Regarding the historical length of all empires on Earth, they’ve all fallen after some 200-500 years, give or take a century. And every single one of them with through MASSIVE internal changes, upheaval, and revolution. This is practically a given Mr. Norris. Accept it. In all likelihood, the U.S. will indeed fragment further — economically and socially it’s already happening/happened! — and “new” states/nations will form… just like all nations/empires have done since the beginning of recorded history.

    Impermanence is permanent, and religions have all eventually become myths & legends… if Xianity hasn’t already.

    However, with that said Ruth, the one thing all humanity can work toward together (in love, civility, & respect?) is slowing the destruction of our planet, our life-blood, AND preparing to move our human species to another safer planet somewhere in our Milky Way galaxy. Is that such a tall order!? 😉 LOL

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    • I can completely understand you wanting to distance your state and, by extension, yourself from such craziness. But let’s not get carried away here. Your state is home to Rick Perry. And…well…

      Don’t you know, Professor, that the Lord is not slow. He’s patient. To him a day is as a1000 years and a 1000 years is as a day. Now repent!

      The only thing that stays the same is that everything changes. I don’t expect the U.S. to remain a powerhouse forever. Like you said, nations rise and fall. Besides as the economy becomes more globalized I don’t think we can expect the U.S. to be able to continue to hoard the wealth.

      And, apparently, asking all humanity to work together for the preservation of our environment is a tall order. According to these same people who lap up the conspiracy nonsense are the same ones who believe our contribution to climate change is a hoax. They’re gonna keep driving their Suburbans, throwing their water bottles in the landfills, and piping pollution into the atmosphere. Jesus will be back soon so it really won’t matter.

      All of this after I’ve just dropped my recyclables at the recycle center, used my reusable grocery sacks at the market, and bought my biodegradable doggy doo bags. 😉

      Liked by 2 people

  5. Norris ought to stick to making shitty television.

    Liked by 5 people

  6. Exrelayman’s law: There is nothing (not demonstrably false via direct observation) so silly that someone somewhere will believe it.

    Corollay: Superstition – someone else’s religion, sufficiently different than your own that its silliness is obvious. (Seen somewhere on the web.)

    Regrettable concomitant: Dang, these people vote!

    Liked by 2 people

    • The kooks do love their conspiracy theories, don’t they? Even the ones that are so obviously false. The think is, I’d like to envision these loons as wearing truck stop hats, holding a can of beer while their bellies hang out from underneath their wife-beater tank tops, as they’re watching old reruns of Twilight Zone, waiting for the UFO to abduct them. Unfortunately that’s not the case. So many times these people seem normal in every other way. O_o

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  7. This is the downside of this world in which there are 24 hour news shows, the internet, and a million channels is that there are also a lot more outlets for crazy to be revealed. And about 30 or so years ago when he was at the height of his career he never would have spewed out this crap because he would have been laughed out of the industry. He’s also old and quite possibly senile and is suffering from some brain issues as a result of old age. The point is that crazy sells a lot more today than it seemed to in the past. Either way he’s a lunatic and it makes me sad that many will hear his hypotheses and latch on to them. I’d like to believe that these ideas however are best exposed so that they can also be attacked. Maybe there is always going to be some crazy and it’s better that crazy not remain in the dark.

    I wrote a post on end times myself about a year ago if you or anybody else is interested. http://cloakunfurled.com/2014/04/16/its-the-end-of-the-world-as-we-know-it-and-i-feel-fine/

    Liked by 1 person

    • There have always been snake oil salesmen. They just didn’t have such a wide media outlet to pedal their wares. Maybe he got kicked in the head one too many times? Either way people buy into this nonsense because of ignorance and hatred. If he claimed he were an atheist and was a left wing democrat the people that are eating this up would say he was crazy and laugh him out of their living rooms. It’s othering. I’m not even sure that the people who jump on this kind of bandwagon even care if it’s true or not. It’s anti-Obama. That’s all that’s important.

      Liked by 2 people

      • Othering? I’m not sure what that means, but it sounds like it has potential to mean something great. 🙂

        My secret theory about why people also eat up this stuff is that by believing in some fringe cockamamie theory they get sense of being special and unique…like they are onto something that so many other people don’t get. I’ve seen this with a lot of people who start rambling about some conspiracy theory…they like to refer to everybody else as sheep and being sucked in by the media, etc. I really do think it makes them feel more important than they really are by latching on to something that they hope is true.

        Liked by 1 person

        • Othering? Maybe I just made it up. It sounded good.

          What I’m referring to is akin to your “special” theory. The whole thing creates this “us” vs. “them” dynamic. “Us” are special and “them” are not. So the ones who are clued in are special and the ones who are not are “the others.”

          Liked by 2 people

  8. There is so much about Americans that defies all logic and common sense and simply baffles me. Thank god for Jazz and Jimi Hendrix.

    Liked by 2 people

  9. How on earth does this unfathomable depth of conspiratorial crazy-ass-fuckwittery exist in the US?

    When it comes to right-wing US politics, I think Wayne Swan (former deputy Prime Minister and Treasurer of Australia) summed it up nicely:

    “Let’s be blunt, the biggest threat to the world’s biggest economy are the cranks and crazies that have taken over parts of the Republican Party.”

    Liked by 2 people

  10. …And the people who are more interested in roleplaying their fantasies than actually educating themselves.

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    • Exactly! It’s the same bunch who buy into the whole Jade Helm conspiracy nonsense. In fairness, I understand that the average Joe doesn’t know how the immigration system works. They have no need to know, I guess, if they aren’t sponsoring someone(which is a requirement for all except business/education/specialized fields visas). Even those visas are not classified as immigrant visas. They aren’t eligible for naturalization, just long term residency. Even the seasonal worker visas have to be sponsored. The business/education/specialized fields visas have to have a business plan/acceptance to a university or college/a guaranteed job to get a visa. The average citizen has no.idea how much bureaucracy is involved in just getting a visa, let alone citizenship. And that’s okay. But if you’re going to jump on a bandwagon about something, at least have some idea that the bandwagon you’re jumping on isn’t barreling over a cliff.

      I’m glad to see you haven’t floated away, Micheal Mock! I was worried you wouldn’t be one of the hand-picked to board an ark.

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  11. I was interested in this blog because of the title. Even tho I’m an ex Christian, in politics I lean more right, I label myself libertarian. That was my disclaimers lol

    I will admit, I got upset when Obama was elected the second time. I did (and to some extent still) do not feel he has the best interests in mind for the US. I did watch a few videos about the crash if the US economy based upon our debt. And that the year after Obama was re-elected was when it would crumble. Well, it didn’t happen. It got me thinking.

    So my dad has been sending me books, links, all sorts of things about the end times. Basically it has to do with the crash of the US. The two are tied together. I’ve figured Christians accept that Democrats are destroying the US because in their opinion, the end is near . They believe Jesus is going to return in their life time.

    I watched my in laws pastor give a sermon about Jesus returning soon because how bad the world is. And I’m sitting here thinking… I feel the world is better off now than its been in the past. As a woman, I feel safe against raids of my city, I’m not worried troops will bust in, kill my family and rape me. I have great Healthcare for my family, we aren’t dieing from the plague. I have clean water that comes straight into my home. Life is good and we are basically safe.

    There is this new thing, Shemitah (I believe ) it’s a Jewish thing. Basically end of the world in September…. Sigh…. I’m so tired of it. I wish Christians would enjoy their lives here and now and not always look at everything as Jesus is coming!!

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    • When I studied Christian history, one of the things that struck me was that in pretty much every generation Christians thought they were the final generation before Jesus returned. They have all been wrong so far.

      Indeed if you study the New Testament carefully you can see how the later books hosed down an expectation of the return of Jesus. Scholars think the first book of the New Testament to be written was 1 Thessalonians. What is interesting is that is the most insistent upon the expectation of an imminent return of Jesus.

      Studying history is a great antidote to the alarmist talk. The current times are hardly the worst in history. It is just human nature to think so.

      Liked by 2 people

  12. Thanks for the follow, sally! I hope my sarcasm and political mockery doesn’t put you off. 😛 I actually lean more libertarian, myself. I’m an equal opportunity critic. If it’s stupid it’s just stupid and that’s what I’m more interested in. I don’t really write that much about politics anyway. More often than not I’m making fun of the extreme right but that’s because more often than not they’re the ones cast in the role of Chicken Little. The sky is falling, the sky is falling!

    I don’t love all of Obama’s policies nor did I love all of G.W. Bush’s. In the past I’ve been far right-wing but the older I get and the more I learn I realize that the world and life isn’t so black and white. That’s how right-wingers like it, though. Black.and.White. If you’ll notice every time a new party gains control the other side screams about how terrible it’s going to be and, oddly, the end of the world hasn’t happened, let alone the financial collapse or police state that each side screams about. So I find myself somewhere in the middle, trying to do my best to fact-check what I’m told instead of swallowing any party line.

    Lastly, I wish Christians would enjoy their lives here and now, too. But when I was a Christian I didn’t. I spent my time trying to figure out how to rescue the people around me from their fiery fate, praying about it when it didn’t happen, and looking at the signs of the times and figuring that Jesus was coming soon, too. I did think it was strange that we all thought that the here and now was so terrible – more terrible than any time in history. It didn’t make sense. If the Bible is to be believed early on people were tossing their firstborn onto burning altars as sacrifices to their gods in the high places. That’s pretty gruesome. Somewhere along the way, even though children are tortured and abused every day, we decided as a society that such things are barbaric. It’s criminal – not something to be celebrated. But if you’re a Christian I think the only way to view the world is that Jesus is coming soon. If you’re a Christian you believe the Bible. And I think every generation has likely believed that Jesus was coming back in their lifetime. He did promise to come back, after all.

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  13. The lies, the lies, the lies…

    There is a distinct difference in having a different political view and disagreeing on what would be the best course of action for the society (like you and I might disagree between libertarianism and socialism) and shameless claims of total and utter bull, such as the one this worn out “action hero” and second rate actor is transmitting.

    Is he serious? Does he really believe what he claims? Did somebody else delude him to believe this nonsense? Or did he just make it up? Somebody sure did and while doing so, knew full well what they were doing. And the person transmitting such lies is equally responsible for the lie as the person who made it up, for not checking up how things really are. But this is the trouble of faith, that is, taking stuff at face value.

    There has been some polarization of this kind in European politics too. The scary thing is, that the extreme right wing populists are all going for it. They trust their voters are not really following politics, understand anything about how societies work, but are all the more easily swayed by the fear factor. The ugly head of antisemitism once again rears, only this time the scary Semites are not the Jew (they have more or less moved out of Europe) rather it is the Arabs – who surely enough are semites as well – and all other Muslims, because they are seen as the scary outsiders.

    The religiousity of people is not in itself any sort of mental ailment, but people in their right mind do not expect the end of the world to happen to their own generation, especially not, if they do so according to some ancient obscure to say the least prophesies, do they? Or is it just that the lack of education causes some people to have such a limited scope on history, that even such nonsense may seem real? But was the end of the world supposed to be a good thing to the Christians, by prompting the Kingdom of Heaven to arrive?

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  14. Yes, there is distinction between having a difference of opinion and outright stupidity/willful ignorance/false claims. You and I might not agree on how to achieve an end, but it goes a long, long way if we’re talking about the same issue, with the same information, and honestly portraying the matter at hand. It would make it a lot easier to either come to a consensus or agree to disagree.

    He is absolutely serious. I don’t know if he actually believes the claims or if he’s been sold a false bill of goods. Either way, were I endorsing any product, political ideation, or agenda I would hope that I would fact-check a little better before I spouted off at the mouth. I don’t enjoy making a fool of myself. That’s not to say it hasn’t happened, of course, but when my reputation and name are on the line I’m very, very, careful what people and/or agendas I endorse – and I’m not even a celebrity. It comes down to integrity and I never want to be seen as dishonest if I can help it. I just can’t believe the number of people who swallow this at face value all because a)he’s famous, b)he’s a famous Christian, and c)he’s a famous Christian who doesn’t like Obama. The enemy of mine enemy is my friend. Who cares if he’s right or telling the truth or not?

    I think you hit the nail on the head that many (especially less educated people) are swayed by fear. Fear-mongering is, unfortunately, a shameless tactic used frequently in this country. The sky is will fall unless you vote this way or support that bill. Capitalists in this country stand on the shoulders of fear and they make millions doing it. One would hope that as the curtain gets torn away that they would be seen for the snakeoil salesmen that they are. But it seems that for every curtain that is brought down there is yet another to take it’s place.

    Eschatology and the rapture are big business here in the U.S. There are many Americans who actually do believe that the end times/rapture/tribulation will happen within their lifetimes. Whether they subscribe to premillennialism, postmillennialism, or amillennialism matters not. The fact is they believe that Jesus is returning to usher out this old, fallen, world and usher in the New Heaven and New Earth.

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  15. Pingback: Religion Benefits Mental Health | Amusing Nonsense

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