Every once in a while, and less and less often, I get into a funk of sorts. Not a good one like this, either:
It’s like I’m in a deep, deep, hole and can barely see the light of day beaming down through a pinhole at the top. I’m somewhere down there.
Then I envision myself scratching at the sides, piling the dirt beneath my feet. A little at a time I can build myself up until maybe, just maybe, I can climb out. When I get like that I feel like I need to kick ass and take names, but just whose ass and whose names I do not know.
So I kick my own. First I kick it for feeling this way and then I kick it into high gear. I run. I do pushups. I lift light weights. I ride my bike. I need to sweat. I need to punish something.
I want to write but I have no idea what. I’m blank. Yet I have a million thoughts in my head that won’t shut off.
I don’t want to cry. I don’t want to be down in the hole. I don’t want to take it out on someone else.
It’s time for one of our Little Talks.
Out From Under the Umbrella 
July 24, 2015 at 11:08 am
Mark Ronson played at the farm next to mine last month Ruth, and closed his fabulous set with that same tune; here it is if you’re interested:
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July 30, 2015 at 1:24 pm
Awesome! A private concert?
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July 30, 2015 at 1:32 pm
Sorry the video won’t display here Ruth; it’s obviously something to do with territorial rights. And no, it wasn’t a private affair, we have an annual performing arts festival here in Glastonbury and it takes place adjacent to my home. This may work, or not: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O9IhPaV5SAs
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July 24, 2015 at 12:22 pm
You can throw stones at anything. Just be sure to not break glass or kill a Goliath
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July 30, 2015 at 1:25 pm
Do not throw stones if you live in a glass house.
If I throw stones at a Goliath I will most certainly try to kill him. Nothing worse than an angry giant!
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July 31, 2015 at 12:03 am
You can throw stones at a glass house, even the one you live in, be sure to hit the concrete only.
Be well friend, whatever it is bothering you, it will pass
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July 24, 2015 at 1:20 pm
Just don’t kick my ass. I’m fragile.
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July 30, 2015 at 1:26 pm
I’ll try to restrain myself.
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July 24, 2015 at 5:14 pm
I’m sorry that you feel this way. I’ve been where you are and it’s shitty.
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July 30, 2015 at 1:27 pm
Yes, it is shitty. Thankfully it hasn’t been long lasting. I’m over it now.
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July 24, 2015 at 6:20 pm
Awww. . .Ruth. . .sending you hugs and wishing I could ‘channel’ a giant vacuum to suck out the million thoughts of yours, bouncing around your noggin. . . but I have an idea that most really smart people are afflicted with this. Besides, you’ve already identified your coping mechanisms. (I’d suggest another physical activity but you’d blush. .) 🙂
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July 30, 2015 at 1:31 pm
Hugs back at you! Please don’t use the giant vacuum on me, though. I need the little bit of brain I have left.
Um, another activity? Do you think I have tried that one out, too? 😉
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July 24, 2015 at 6:20 pm
Umm, that video is weird. Don’t mind the beat but I confess sometimes I can’t make head nor tails out of videos. The mood certainly seems clear though. As you know, the reason I haven’t been around is because of a really down time. I’m starting to come out of it but the impact of this last cycle has stunned me. I’m sorry about this funk you are in. (((hug))) ❤
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July 30, 2015 at 1:34 pm
I definitely liked it better when videos told a story. That one is kind of out there. But I really like the song and I really like that group. Thankfully my funk didn’t last too long this time. I do understand, though. I’m glad you’re finding your way out of it, too. {{{{{Zoe}}}}}
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July 25, 2015 at 8:15 am
Thank you all for your comments and especially the hugs. I’m doing this from my phone because my modem died. I’ll be back soon to reply to you all properly.
Hugs back at you all!
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July 25, 2015 at 10:41 am
I know this feeling. Good on you for giving it the kick in the pants, which I know is a lot harder than it sounds. Hang in there, you are awesome.
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July 30, 2015 at 1:38 pm
Thanks, Lane! It is definitely a conundrum of sorts, isn’t it? You know you need to get out, get active, and stay engaged, but those are precisely the things you don’t.feel.like.doing.
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July 27, 2015 at 10:54 am
‘Was saddened to hear that your modem died. RIP Modem ?- 2015
(but seriously, ‘hope dry humor cheered you up and that positive energy prevails)
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July 30, 2015 at 1:39 pm
😀
It was a good ol’ modem, but it’s a dead modem now.
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July 27, 2015 at 11:33 am
{{{{BIG OL’ HUGS}}}}
If it helps any, it isn’t just you. I get those, too.
Here, have some Red Pandas Playing In The Snow. That always makes me feel better.
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July 30, 2015 at 1:42 pm
Thanks, Michael Mock!
I does help, but I’m sorry you can relate. 😦
The Red Pandas are adorable!
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