Out From Under the Umbrella

playing in the rain

Pontificating

28 Comments

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Having watched Pope Francis, and I’m no fan as I’m not Catholic(hell, I’m not even a believer), being eaten alive by conservative Protestants the words of this song came to mind. Oh, how fantastic Christans are at cannibilzing. I know, I know. The Pope’s not really a real Christian(sarcasm, if you can’t tell).

My Jesus

“And who is this that you follow
This picture of the American dream
If Jesus was here would you walk right by on the other side
Or fall down and worship at His holy feet? Holy, yeah

Pretty blue eyes and curly brown hair and a clear complexion
Is how you see Him as He dies for Your sins
But the Word says He was battered and scarred
Or did you miss that part?
Sometimes I doubt we’d recognize Him
‘Cause my Jesus would never be accepted in my church…

The blood and dirt on His feet might stain the carpet
But He reaches for the hurting and despises the proud
And I think He’d prefer Beale St. to the stained glass crowd…” Todd Agnew

No, if the Jesus depicted in scripture walked the streets of America today he would not be recognized.  He would be shunned.  He would be shouted down.  No matter how many scriptures you throw at me saying that Jesus was a capitalist I don’t buy it.  I don’t think that The Parable of the Ten Minas means what you think it means.  I’m not even a professing Christian and I know that this parable has nothing to do with greed or accumulation of wealth.  Even if it did it wouldn’t be advocating it at the expense of others.  It certainly doesn’t carry with it any meaning even close to “get all you can, while you can, and hoard it for yourself.”

Somehow I just can’t picture the Jesus found in your Holy Book packing heat and capitalizing on the mysery of others.  I don’t even think I can picture him building big walls across the border.  Funny, for people who expect that Jesus could come back soon, at any moment, you sure do spend an awful lot of your time stepping on the heads of others to get your leg up in this world.

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28 thoughts on “Pontificating

  1. LOL…enjoyed this Ruth.

    No, if the Jesus depicted in scripture walked the streets of America today he would not be recognized.

    He would be considered a wise-ass homeless man OFF his meds, then taken to the county jail I suppose. But I must take offense to what you’re saying here Ruth… cuz I’m A Believer… sorta… 😈

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    • Grrrr. Will you change that last quote-mark to a “colon” please. Sorry. :/

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    • A Joke

      A rough looking man down on his luck felt perhaps he should try Church. He summoned up his courage and walked up the steps. But he only had his rough street clothes on, the traces of alcohol could be smelled on them. As he made his way to enter, the ushers chastised for showing no respect for God, how could he enter God’s house in such a disheveled state. He should clean himself up first.

      Dejected he walked away and sat on the nearby park bench. Jesus came and sat beside him and said, “don’t feel too bad, they won’t let me in there either.”

      Liked by 2 people

      • Ushers later explained… “Admission hours for the mental health clinic — and for refills of meds — are from 5pm to 5:30pm strictly, and only 30 mins, not 31 mins! Constant severe tax-cuts, program-cuts, & social-worker-cuts have forced most clinics to either close their doors are greatly limit their hours of operation. But hey! You could hangout near the police station, get arrested for loitering, and stay incarcerated & taken care of in our VERY expensive jails & prisons!” 😀
        “One way or another, ALL of society pays for society’s problems.” LOL

        Your point Peter is a poignant one. Thanks Sir. 😉

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Go, sell your stock options, and give to the poor…’r something like that…

    Liked by 1 person

    • Ooh, nice linky Victoria. Except I would add that eating less animals and using/buying less cars/fuel/energy might help a tiny bit?

      Because anyone who talks about population is bordering on EUGENICS. Not women’s rights. Oh no. And don’t forget the rights of the unborn. *headbang*

      Liked by 2 people

      • “Except I would add that eating less animals and using/buying less cars/fuel/energy might help a tiny bit?”

        Indeed, and that addressing just that one issue alone could meet 16 to 29 percent of the necessary decrease in greenhouse-gas emissions. Also, on his visit here, Mr. Pope implored the U.S. government to consider the beliefs of American Catholics and “respect their deepest concerns and their right to religious liberty and contraception.” Are you smelling the manure? Most Catholic women in child-bearing age use birth control. This IS about $$.

        Just this past week a Catholic hospital refused to do a tubal after a scheduled C-section on a woman with a brain tumor, of course with the pope’s blessing. The Christian politicians and the Catholic hierarchy make great bedfellows. They are on the exact same page.

        “Why right-wing christian leaders are often indifferent to needless suffering”

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      • For clarification — “that addressing just that one issue” was referring to women’s rights.

        Liked by 1 person

        • Not arguing for a minute V, but the other issues are valid. We can’t look at anything in isolation.

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          • I completely agree, and I’m not suggesting we don’t do anything else. But I still stand of the premises, based on 10+ years of research, that the root of our social and ecological woes stem from that one issue.

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          • I don’t think ten years of research is necessary, although tbh I’ve been thinking it for thirty (I think??) What gripes me is how misogyny/sexism is so unacknowledged. It’s still seen as a fucking joke.

            Liked by 1 person

          • “Until woman is affirmed as fully equal to man; has complete and autonomous control over her own body, particularly her sexual body, it will not be possible for woman to become mothers by choice and to give birth to only wanted children who are nurtured and loved – the foundation for a peaceful, harmonious and egalitarian humanity.” James W. Prescott, Ph.D. — Institute of Humanistic Science

            Now why couldn’t Jesus have said that? Imagine how different the would would be if he had.

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          • He might have done. But someone else would have rewritten the script.

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          • True, it’s possible. I wonder if half of his apostles were actually women. We’ll probably never know since there are no original manuscripts. Oh, and rather than sell some expensive ointment to help the poor, Jesus wasted it on himself, saying, “Ye have the poor with you always.” (Mark 14:3-7) He never denounced servitude, incorporating the master-slave relationship into many of his parables.

            When one of his disciples requested time off for his father’s funeral, Jesus “rebuked” him: “Let the dead bury their dead.” (Matthew 8:22) He showed his “respect” for life by drowning innocent animals (Matthew 8:32). The burning of unbelievers during the Inquisition was based on the words of Jesus: “If a man abide not in me, he is cast forth as a branch, and is withered; and men gather them, and cast them into the fire, and they are burned.” (John 15:6) Marrying a divorced woman is adultery.

            So, yeah, gag reflex, if we’re going by the Jesus represented in the Bible.

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          • I’ll take your word for it 😉 you know my knowledge of the bible even though I have them kicking around. Seems to me it says everything to everyone. Total charlatan deal.

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  3. You’re spot on.

    Did you ever see my post on Conservapedia’s Bible Project? They’re re-writing the bible to better fit with the evangelical/conservative worldview. It’s hillarious. Here’s a sample of the things they’re changing.

    Now Republican Jesus® was also certainly no environmentalist, so, “For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but to save it” (John 3, 17), Conservapedia has traded “world” for “mankind,” so it’s abundantly clear the True Christian™ savior was not in any way advocating for the good stewardship of the planet. “Fully fed and entertained” reads so much better than “rich” – the fabled job creators – so Matthew 19:24 has been reshaped to read, “It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle, than for a rich fully fed and entertained man to enter into the kingdom of heaven.” According to Conservapedia, the word, ‘hypocrite,’ is also far too closely associated with Christians and Conservatives, so Jesus no-longer berates the hypocrites in Matthew 7:5, rather the ‘deceivers;’ a word Schlafly insists is a synonym for Liberals. Following suit, the phrase, “The liberal soul shall be made fat: and he that watereth shall be watered also himself” (Proverbs 11:25) is about as ugly a translation ever. “Liberal” is changed to “generous,” as only homeschooled True Christian™ Republicans know the meaning of altruism. On that note, the word “homeschooled” is inserted to describe the method of how Jesus taught his younger disciples. “Media” (excluding Fox News, of course), replaces “false idols,” “Lord of Hosts” is flipped for “Lord of Armies,” “Children of Israel” becomes “Sons of Israel” (because women don’t have rights in the True Christians™ mind), and “Thou shall not kill” is transfigured to read, “Thou shall not murder,” as the death penalty and hunting should never be considered “murder.”

    Liked by 2 people

  4. It seems that the only folk they hate more than atheists and Muslims are fellow Christians.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I think the Jesus of the bible wouldn’t care much for anyone who wasn’t of his tribe.

    Liked by 2 people

    • I agree Noel. I get a gag reflex every time I see Jesus used as the poster child of prosocial behavior. I mean, after all, according to the “good book”, everyone who doesn’t accept Jesus will be thrown in the lake of fire, and I guess Jesus is OK with this?

      Liked by 1 person

    • The story of the Syrophonenician women in Mark 7:24-30/Matthew 15:21-28 provides interpretative challenges. Firstly Jesus just ignored her and only spoke to her eventually because his disciples complained that she would not leave them alone. Then he said to her he had only come to the ‘lost sheep of Israel’. When this failed to dissuade her he said, ‘for it is not right to take the children’s bread and toss it to the dogs’. Eventually after she persisted Jesus granted her request.

      My own suspicion is that this is in the tradition of the noble foreigner teaching of the Bible where the response of a foreigner is used to make the intended audience feel guilty by comparison, the book of Jonah being the classic example.

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      • Thanks Peter.
        Do you think Jesus was everyone’s messiah or just for the Jews? I see many people write what would Jesus do and ask is he the only example of virtue they can think of?

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        • Well last year I studied the Book of Isaiah in depth at a Bible seminary. At the end of the book a picture is given of the end times where the Jews are essentially in charge and the other nations that are ‘saved’ come in as a sort of lower class servant.

          So my answer to your question is a vague, yes and no.

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  6. What did surprise me was to discover that the Pope apparently had a secret meeting with Kim Davis.

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