Out From Under the Umbrella

playing in the rain

An Explanation for Trump’s Popularity from Shallow Hal



He’s a pro. He’s the best.  Just ask him.

He’s as racist, bigoted, and misogynistic as people feel.  We need an exterminator to take care of the problem.

Trouble is, nobody’s asking, and even if they are they don’t care about the answer, how he’s going to do this.

So you’ve hired an exterminator, you’ve given him carte blanche to deal with the problem.  You leave it to him.  He says, “Believe me, I’m the best.  No raccoon has ever gotten the better of me.  Raccoons are losers and I’m a winner.”

You trot off to work, leaving him to fix your problem, without even asking for a plan of action.  You carry on, blissfully, throughout your day knowing when you get home those damned raccoons will be gone.  Oh, happy day.

The exterminator calls you, just after lunch to tell you that the problem has been resolved.  He’s taken care of it and those pesky raccoons won’t bother you any more.  He’s left a bill in your mailbox.

On your drive home you’re singing along with the radio – rocking out, actually – excited to get home to your peaceful, beautiful, raccoon-free home.

You turn down your street and there are people standing out in front of what used to be your house. The only thing left standing is the mailbox.  It’s been raised.  Flattened to the ground.  He used explosives and blew it to smithereens.

Sure enough, just as he said, there’s a bill in the mailbox.  It’s more than you can afford.  And he blew your damned house up!  You’re not paying that bill.

Except you ring him up to tell him so and he says that, yes, you will pay the bill.  He did what was requested.  You said you wanted those raccoons gone, and you wanted them gone pronto.  He did that.  You never asked how that would be accomplished.  You didn’t discuss the terms of any agreement.  Only that you agreed to pay him to get rid of the raccoons which he did.

And if you don’t pay the bill he’ll see you in court!

May the gods help us all.  Ain’t America great?


8 thoughts on “An Explanation for Trump’s Popularity from Shallow Hal

  1. I’m thoroughly enjoying watching the GOP self-destruct. They created this, fueling the fires of irrational hatred for the last seven years, and now they’re all confused why this is happening. It’s brilliant!

    Liked by 4 people

  2. Exactly! People are in denial as to what they actually are. Case in point:

    Says the white woman who gave a virtual high-five to exterminating the raccoons. For anyone who doesn’t know it, raccoons is a slang term for a racial slur here in America.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thanks for the link, Nan! And I totally agree with him. Anyone who says they’re voting for Donald Trump because he “tells it like it is” is lying. He says the things they feel. But he also says things so absurd, so unbelievable, so grandiose that it defies logic that people can actually think that he’s going to be able to do any of what he’s promising. Half(or more) of his own party doesn’t like him. All of the things he’s promising will have to go before The Congress and The Senate. He’ll have a hard time getting most of it past his own party, much less the democrats. If these folks are so angry about Obama’s executive orders just wait until Dictator Drumpf gets into office.


  3. Very good analogy.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Cure the nations headaches by decapitation. That is the recommended solution of most 4 or 5-year olds when their tantrum isn’t working: throw things, hit someone, kick something or someone, in Texas… shoot them! No, sorry. Joking (or am I?). (rolls eyes)

    Seriously Shallow Hal? 😮

    But you know Ruth, I hear this sort of ‘angry’ childish rhetoric too often here in the Hill Country of Texas too. Every single time this sort of reaction/solution reminds me of what is reflected by Texas’ percentage of Level of Education Attained over age 24 according to 2013 stats from CensusScope.org and the U.S. Census Bureau:

    Only 25.2% of Texas’ population have acquired a high school diploma. Only 18.3% of Texans have acquired a bachelor’s degree.

    Those percentages Ruth, are much much worse going back to 1990! What does this indicate about Texans’ overall ability for critical-thinking skills and understanding and using sound logic when controversy and critical issues are presented to the general population? In other words, for more than 26 years 74.8% of Texas voters do not even have high school diplomas; 81.7% have no bachelor’s degrees! These statistical facts in Texas haven’t improved by 2016. I’m sure they’re worse given our Congress in Austin. I’m quite sure that the rest of the South, the U.S. Bible-belt, isn’t too different.

    My overall point is that when you have the large majority of your general population lacking high-quality education and critical-thinking skills — just Common Core Standards K thru 12! — you have citizens and voters like Shallow Hal EVERYWHERE!!! And actually Shallow Hal, sadly THAT is the real reason why somone like tRUMP is popular. 😦

    Oh! Important footnote — Shallow Hal, when October and November roll around, thank the stars we DO have more than two choices. There are at least 2-3 other parties and candidate tickets because the last two Presidential elections I did not vote Republican or Democrat. Therefore Hal, your entire premise is quite erroneous from the start.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Well, Donald Trump would surely love me. I have a high school diploma but I’ve never even sat in a college class. o_O You know how much he loves the poorly educated. 😉

    Do you know what’s really scary? Shallow Hal is a University graduate. And many of the people I know who like him have higher educations. I don’t even think they give one iota about any of his policies except these: build a wall; send them back where they came from; and reform welfare. It’s as if that’s all there is. Who cares about foreign policy? No, the voters are likely to get exactly what they’ve asked for – an authoritarian. They’ll have no one to blame but themselves.

    Liked by 1 person

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