Out From Under the Umbrella

playing in the rain

Hell, Mary

24 Comments

Rotten Tomato Comedy

Since my own deconversion, or conversion to agnostic atheism, or whatever you want to call it, I’ve developed a devilish(heh!) sense of humor as relates to religion.  Or sarcasm.  Or cynicism.  Or a blasphemous sense of humor.

Whatever you want to call it.

Tomato, tomahto.  It’s all the same thing.

So the other day a co-worker failed (again!) to turn in some paperwork that is vital to my job.  I playfully scolded him since I have no actual authority to properly scold him.

He tells me he’s sorry and he’ll try to do better(which is what he says each time).

“Don’t worry about it.  Just go say three hell Maries, throw some salt over your shoulder, and eat a piece of garlic.”

“Wait,” he says. Serious as a heart attack, “Are you Catholic?”

“No, my child, I serve no gods.”

The moment entirely lost on him, “Oh. Well, as long as you’re not Catholic.  You know, they’re not really Christian.”

“Yeah, well, neither are protestants. Besides, saying hell Mary isn’t the same thing as hail Mary. You, know, as in, ‘Hell, Mary, don’t do that again!’  And throwing salt over your shoulder and eating garlic have nothing to do with being Catholic.”

“So, what?  Do you belong to one of those non-denominational religions?”

“Only if being sacrilegious counts.”

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24 thoughts on “Hell, Mary

  1. The beauty of working in a dubious country. By which I mean, England is rather borderline when it comes to secularity and religion, probably because the queen is head of the church and the state. I don’t ever remember having a remotely religious flavoured conversation at work in the ten years of my last job.

    Yet America is nominally secular. Just. Weird.

    PS. I like Catholics. They are often good people in my limited experience.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. And that’s how bad indoctrination is in the U.S. You flat out told him you’re a non believer and his brain could not compute. Not long ago, through a series of in person conversations about faith with another woman, I said everything except the word “atheist” to describe myself in our talks. I’m pretty sure she still thinks I’m just a prodigal. More than a dozen conversations and she just didn’t get it.

    People tend to believe that we all worship some sort of god. Whatever.

    It’s always good to hear from you, Ruth. You’re good people.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Nope, didn’t register that I had just said that I was irreligious. It only matter what flavor. Around here Christianity is a presumption, whether or not you practice you surely believe.

      Thanks, Charity! You’re pretty cool, yourself.

      Like

  3. Teasing a moron is like giving them an umbrella: it goes right over their head.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’m not of the opinion he’s a moron. He’s actually a pretty smart guy. But he is definitely wearing some pretty thick God goggles.

      Like

      • Consider this: The percentage of God goggles drops quickly the higher you go up in education. Physicists at the top of their field have the fewest sky fairy worshipers in their ranks. The more you know, the less you have to “believe.”

        Take it away, Neil….

        Like

  4. It’s said Christians wear rose-colored glasses. It would seem this guy has specially designed hearing aids as well.

    Liked by 3 people

  5. Bwahahahahahahahahaha! I am *so* stealing that sacrilegious line.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Hahahaha!!! If I worked there with you Ruth, we would be SUCH THE “SATANIC” PAIR!!! Love it! Keep those snippy devilish sacriligious remarks cocked, loaded, and ready to blast! 😈

    Like

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