An Explanation for Trump’s Popularity from Shallow Hal

He’s a pro. He’s the best.  Just ask him.

He’s as racist, bigoted, and misogynistic as people feel.  We need an exterminator to take care of the problem.

Trouble is, nobody’s asking, and even if they are they don’t care about the answer, how he’s going to do this.

So you’ve hired an exterminator, you’ve given him carte blanche to deal with the problem.  You leave it to him.  He says, “Believe me, I’m the best.  No raccoon has ever gotten the better of me.  Raccoons are losers and I’m a winner.”

You trot off to work, leaving him to fix your problem, without even asking for a plan of action.  You carry on, blissfully, throughout your day knowing when you get home those damned raccoons will be gone.  Oh, happy day.

The exterminator calls you, just after lunch to tell you that the problem has been resolved.  He’s taken care of it and those pesky raccoons won’t bother you any more.  He’s left a bill in your mailbox.

On your drive home you’re singing along with the radio – rocking out, actually – excited to get home to your peaceful, beautiful, raccoon-free home.

You turn down your street and there are people standing out in front of what used to be your house. The only thing left standing is the mailbox.  It’s been raised.  Flattened to the ground.  He used explosives and blew it to smithereens.

Sure enough, just as he said, there’s a bill in the mailbox.  It’s more than you can afford.  And he blew your damned house up!  You’re not paying that bill.

Except you ring him up to tell him so and he says that, yes, you will pay the bill.  He did what was requested.  You said you wanted those raccoons gone, and you wanted them gone pronto.  He did that.  You never asked how that would be accomplished.  You didn’t discuss the terms of any agreement.  Only that you agreed to pay him to get rid of the raccoons which he did.

And if you don’t pay the bill he’ll see you in court!

May the gods help us all.  Ain’t America great?

 

Pontificating

Having watched Pope Francis, and I’m no fan as I’m not Catholic(hell, I’m not even a believer), being eaten alive by conservative Protestants the words of this song came to mind. Oh, how fantastic Christans are at cannibilzing. I know, I know. The Pope’s not really a real Christian(sarcasm, if you can’t tell).

My Jesus

“And who is this that you follow
This picture of the American dream
If Jesus was here would you walk right by on the other side
Or fall down and worship at His holy feet? Holy, yeah

Pretty blue eyes and curly brown hair and a clear complexion
Is how you see Him as He dies for Your sins
But the Word says He was battered and scarred
Or did you miss that part?
Sometimes I doubt we’d recognize Him
‘Cause my Jesus would never be accepted in my church…

The blood and dirt on His feet might stain the carpet
But He reaches for the hurting and despises the proud
And I think He’d prefer Beale St. to the stained glass crowd…” Todd Agnew

No, if the Jesus depicted in scripture walked the streets of America today he would not be recognized.  He would be shunned.  He would be shouted down.  No matter how many scriptures you throw at me saying that Jesus was a capitalist I don’t buy it.  I don’t think that The Parable of the Ten Minas means what you think it means.  I’m not even a professing Christian and I know that this parable has nothing to do with greed or accumulation of wealth.  Even if it did it wouldn’t be advocating it at the expense of others.  It certainly doesn’t carry with it any meaning even close to “get all you can, while you can, and hoard it for yourself.”

Somehow I just can’t picture the Jesus found in your Holy Book packing heat and capitalizing on the mysery of others.  I don’t even think I can picture him building big walls across the border.  Funny, for people who expect that Jesus could come back soon, at any moment, you sure do spend an awful lot of your time stepping on the heads of others to get your leg up in this world.