Out From Under the Umbrella

playing in the rain


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Unintentional Hiatus

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I’ve been a little distracted by this thing called life.  Which means I have to act like a grown up and do grown up things.  I am tired of doing it.  I need to not have to think, do, or say grown up things for a little while.  I promise not to bark, though.

Unless I don’t get snacks.

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Hell, Mary

Rotten Tomato Comedy

Since my own deconversion, or conversion to agnostic atheism, or whatever you want to call it, I’ve developed a devilish(heh!) sense of humor as relates to religion.  Or sarcasm.  Or cynicism.  Or a blasphemous sense of humor.

Whatever you want to call it.

Tomato, tomahto.  It’s all the same thing.

So the other day a co-worker failed (again!) to turn in some paperwork that is vital to my job.  I playfully scolded him since I have no actual authority to properly scold him.

He tells me he’s sorry and he’ll try to do better(which is what he says each time).

“Don’t worry about it.  Just go say three hell Maries, throw some salt over your shoulder, and eat a piece of garlic.”

“Wait,” he says. Serious as a heart attack, “Are you Catholic?”

“No, my child, I serve no gods.”

The moment entirely lost on him, “Oh. Well, as long as you’re not Catholic.  You know, they’re not really Christian.”

“Yeah, well, neither are protestants. Besides, saying hell Mary isn’t the same thing as hail Mary. You, know, as in, ‘Hell, Mary, don’t do that again!’  And throwing salt over your shoulder and eating garlic have nothing to do with being Catholic.”

“So, what?  Do you belong to one of those non-denominational religions?”

“Only if being sacrilegious counts.”


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The Republican Looney Toons

It would be funny if it weren’t true, but I need to laugh about it instead of cry. It’s Super Tuesday here in the U.S.A., folks. I found some old clips of the leading Republican Candidates at their best.  Here’s a compilation:

 

Donald Trump seems to be set to sweep the nomination using this platform:

 

Marco Rubio seeks to take him down using insults:

 

And Ted Cruz is preparing for his big chance:

 

If this is the best the Republican Party has and any one of them wins I think we can all say:


61 Comments

You Have Not Because You Ask Not

jailApparently 51 year-old April Lee Yates didn’t pray hard enough.  According to WBTW News she dined out in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina Sunday night expecting Jesus Christ to pick up the tab.  When he didn’t show up with the cash in hand she was carted off to jail because she hadn’t the money to pay.

I wonder how many times Jesus has paid a dinner check for her.  She certainly expected him to come through for her.  She didn’t even do a proper dine-and-dash.  She sat there for four hours waiting on him.

Seriously, you can’t make this stuff up.