Out From Under the Umbrella

playing in the rain



I have resting bitch-face.  My lips naturally turn down at the sides when my face is at it’s resting position.  Which is often perceived as me frowning, I guess.  I don’t know of anyone whose lips naturally turn up into a smiling composition when they’re not intentionally smiling, but whatever.

I’m sitting here, minding my own business, doing my job.  Which is to say I’m staring at a computer screen, entering data, editing that data, and as a result I’m concentrating.  My face is at a resting position.

On more than one occasion, more than one male that I work with, has walked through as I’m sitting here at my desk, doing my work, staring at my computer screen, entering data, editing that data, and as a result concentrating, and said to me, “Smile!  You should smile more!”

I have never, in all the time I’ve worked here heard them tell any of the men who sit within earshot, also staring at their computers, also working, also concentrating, and also with resting bitch-face, to smile.  Never. Not once.


I have also not seen or heard any of the men at this workplace attempt to force other men to smile. I’ve not heard them referred to as, “sweetheart, “sugar,” “darlin’,” or “good lookin’.”

I’ve not heard any of the men tell the other men that they look good in those jeans.  Or stand over their desks playing a game of keep away with papers to try to illicit a response.

I no longer wear jeans to work because of this.

I refuse to play the game of keep away with the papers.

I’m then told, “You need to smile more.  You’re so pretty.  You’d be prettier if you smiled.”


Why?  Why do I need to sit here staring at my computer screen with a smile plastered on my face?  So I’ll look prettier?  For whom?  Excuse me, that wasn’t part of the job description when they hired me.  I wasn’t told I’d need to smile so I’d look prettier for the men-folk.  I was hired to do a job and I do it damned well.  They don’t pay me to smile and look pretty.

Who does not know that this is inappropriate?

I’ll be the first to admit that I’m extremely uncomfortable with attention.  Maybe I’m taking this all the wrong way due to that fact.  I have always appreciated compliments on the work I do and my intellect far more than commentary on my appearance inside and outside of the office.

Somehow I muster a smile.

“Oh, see, at least I got you to smile!”

On the outside, asshole.  Only with my lips.  My eyes are telling a different story.  Did you not feel those daggers?

Rant over.



God Honors Laws of Man


From my facebook files:

Man can create laws, but God already has his laws in place and there is no higher court capable of overturning or revising those laws. Make no mistake…God will not honor any laws created by man. Have no fear, He is still on His throne! And He still loves all sinners….me included.

Dear facebook friend,

It is fortunate for you that what you have been and done for your whole life isn’t illegal. That somehow makes your past not so…sinful. Sure, you’re straight. But you got knocked up out of wedlock. And, like me, you’re divorced and remarried.   And, really, I think you have that whole thing about God not honoring the laws of man all wrong.  Your Good Book says:

Let everyone be subject to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God. Consequently, whoever rebels against the authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and those who do so will bring judgment on themselves.  For rulers hold no terror for those who do right, but for those who do wrong. Do you want to be free from fear of the one in authority? Then do what is right and you will be commended.  For the one in authority is God’s servant for your good. But if you do wrong, be afraid, for rulers do not bear the sword for no reason. They are God’s servants, agents of wrath to bring punishment on the wrongdoer.  Therefore, it is necessary to submit to the authorities, not only because of possible punishment but also as a matter of conscience.

 This is also why you pay taxes, for the authorities are God’s servants, who give their full time to governing. Give to everyone what you owe them: If you owe taxes, pay taxes; if revenue, then revenue; if respect, then respect; if honor, then honor.

Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for whoever loves others has fulfilled the law.  The commandments, “You shall not commit adultery,” “You shall not murder,” “You shall not steal,” “You shall not covet,” and whatever other command there may be, are summed up in this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.”  Love does no harm to a neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law.  Romans 13: 1-10(NIV)


Sounds like God approves of marriage(that’s what we’re calling it now).  So please stop making the baby Jesus cry.  Show your neighbors some love and respect, will ya?


For the Bible Tells Me So

In the height of my biblical fanaticism there wasn’t much that could deter me.  Some may call that worshiping the Bible instead of God.  Call it what you will, but I was convinced that the words in that book were the very words of God.  I never heard him audibly.  I didn’t walk with Jesus in the flesh.  But, oh, those precious words of the Bible.  So next to being able to hear him tell me exactly what I should be doing, exactly what it took to be his child, the Bible was it.  Infallible.  Inerrant.  Uncompromising.

If I had a problem the first place I turned was to prayer and the Bible*.  They went hand-in-hand. I prayed for wisdom and discernment.  Wisdom to rightly divide the words of God and discernment to know which ones to apply to my situation.  But it was more than that.  Every word, every story, every book was historically and scientifically accurate.  God created the world in six literal days.  Noah built an ark and saved the animals and humanity when it flooded. Abraham and Sarah bore Isaac even at a ripe old age.  Joshua brought down the walls of Jericho. David slayed the giant, Goliath, with a slingshot and a stone.  Every word of it truth.

Jesus was born of a virgin, turn water into wine, and walked on water.  He was the way, the truth, and the life. The only way.  He was the Great I Am, divider of sheep and goats, separating the wheat from the chaff.

So the me that I was didn’t question.  Other people did and I was always so dismissive. It was easy to be.  The Bible was truth so I didn’t have to think.

Questions people, even (gasp!)other so-called Christians, would ask:

Why are we here?

God created us to be in a relationship with him. He doesn’t need us, he want’s us.  He chose us.  The Bible says so.

How  did we get here?  Didn’t we evolve?

No.  God formed man from the dust of the earth and breathed life into his nostrils. He made woman from the rib of the man’s side.  The Bible says so.

The global flood is just a story, right? 

Certainly there was a flood.  Forty days and forty nights.  The Bible says so.

What about Jesus?  Really, born of a virgin?

Absolutely.  The Bible says so.

And hell?  Only those who believe in Jesus are going to heaven?  Surely there are other ways to reach heaven.

Are you kidding?!?  Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life.  No one comes to the father except by him.  If you don’t believe in Jesus you will go to hell.  The Bible says so.

So what of those who have grown up indoctrinated in other religions? 

If you’ve heard the gospel and rejected it you’ll go to hell. The Bible says so.

What if someone has never heard the gospel?

The Bible says man is without excuse.  His glory is all around us.

Isn’t that kind of harsh?

It may seem that way, but we’ve all had the opportunity to accept or reject God.  It’s our choice.  We choose heaven or hell.  God isn’t being harsh.  He’s explained his plan and we get to be part of it.  The Bible says so.

Isn’t God kind of mean?

God is love.  The Bible says so.

Sending people to hell is love?

He doesn’t want anyone to go to hell.  He wants everyone to choose Jesus, to choose life.  He is a God of love and a God of wrath.  He is just.  The Bible says so.

Hell is just?

If God says it is just it is just.  You may not like His justice but he created the universe and us and deals with us the way he chooses.  He is God and we are not. The Bible says so.

Jesus loves me.  For the Bible tells me so.

*Edit:  That’s not entirely true.  Prayer and the Bible were the first place I turned for everything, not just when I had a problem.  I applied prayer and the Bible to every aspect of my life.