Out From Under the Umbrella

playing in the rain


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Friday Funday!

I heard this song on the radio a little while ago and now it’s stuck in my head! Ahhhhh!

Everybody who reads here knows I’m a 70’s music kinda woman. But what can I say?  My music tastes are ….um…eclectic.

I found this parody of it that’s pretty cute, too!

Have a great Friday, everybody!  And, as always, feel free to share whatever tune is stuck in your noggin.

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IPV: Adjust Your Sails

inthestorm

I wanted to end this series on a positive note.  It’s hard to do that with a topic which is the source of so much pain.  It’s depressing, frankly.  I thought about doing a post about making a safety plan if you intend to stick it out, a strategy for coping with ongoing abuse, and an exit plan if you want to leave.  But those have all been done before.  I’ll leave some links if you need them.

There are just really are some things I want to say to you if you find yourself in a toxic relationship of any kind.  Whether it’s physical, emotional, verbal, sexual, or spiritual abuse the result is devastating.  It erodes self-esteem.  It corrodes hearts.

It is not your fault.  No matter how many times you’ve heard, ‘if only you wouldn’t…make me so angry, or make me worry, or be so selfish, or be so stupid [insert your own].

Embed this in your memory.  Affirm yourself even if no one else does.  Know this:

“You is kind. You is smart. You is important.” Kathryn Stockett, The Help

You are important. You are valuable.  You are irreplaceable. You are priceless.  And because you may have forgotten I want to tell you:

You are beautiful.

You are beautiful.
You are beautiful.

There is nothing wrong with you.

Listen, I do not know you.  But I am you.  You are not alone.  Things can get better.  Nothing will change unless you do.  You can do it!  Learn to trust yourself again.

If you need help or just someone to talk to you can email me at deconstructingmyselfdma@gmail.com

—————————————————————————————————–

http://heleneltaylor.com/planning-a-safe-escape-from-an-abusive-marriage/

http://www.respect4women.org/what-is-abuse/the-cycle-of-abuse/

http://www.healthyplace.com/abuse/emotional-psychological-abuse/dealing-with-emotional-abuse-how-to-stop-emotional-abuse/

October is domestic violence awareness month

If you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)


32 Comments

Another Day Older

DSCF1288I woke up yesterday morning and made the sleepy descent from my bed to the living room where I found this lovely vase with those strangely died mums(?) on the kitchen counter and a card propped up next to it.  TheBrit can be so sappy.  I love that man.  I would’ve taken a picture of them there, on the counter, but…well…I live in my house.

I added a number to the times I’m holding onto thirty-nine.  I’m not saying how many numbers I’ve added.  It doesn’t really bother me, though.  When we were out to a fabulous dinner with friends and family last night one of them asked if this made thirty-seven. Ha!  Somewhere slightly north of there.

My brother-in-law, who knows very well many this makes, told my six-year-old nephew to ask me.  As if that were a dig.  I proudly announced how many this makes.  Bring ’em on, I say!  Bring ’em on!  If I stop having them it’s gonna mean I had a really bad day.  Really.Bad. So keep ’em comin’!

I’ve really had a month-long celebration.  ‘Cause that’s just how I roll! Seriously, TheBrit had a fantastic idea for a birthday present.  I couldn’t be happier with what I got.  So we went together to pick it out.

 

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Give me food because I’m cute!

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Meet Miss Sara.  We went to the local animal shelter to find her. She was listed as a Boxer/Beagle mix and was only a few days away from her limit at the shelter.  Isn’t she the cutest thing?  And she’s the perfect companion to Dottie.

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I haven’t had my coffee yet – don’t eff with me!

Dottie had been with other dogs, best as I can tell, her whole life.  Her foster family had other dogs and she missed having a companion.  She was kind of sad.  So I had to get a dog for my…dog.  Having another dog around has helped Dottie to come out of her shell some, too.  It’s obvious her first owner either abused her or allowed her to be abused.  She’s still a tiny bit skittish if we walk directly toward her head-on, but other than that she’s golden.  Dottie has mellowed out so much and I don’t think she’s done.  She loves TheBrit to pieces now, which we were unsure about her coming around to.  She got a bit jealous of the new girl and decided to join in on the lovefest! 🙂

Happy Birthday to me!  Four legged friends make me happy.

I can’t leave you without a song, though.  Here’s my birthday theme song for this year:

 

 

 


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Keep on Going

Those of you who have read here for very long know that I’m not really into Country Music.  You also know I don’t believe in a literal hell where people are going to burn for all eternity.  But you also know, as is the case for just about everybody, I’ve been through my fair share of hell right here on Earth.  Which is why the symbolism and the imagery in this song resonates with me so strongly and why it makes it a power ballad of sorts for me.

That why every time I find myself in another dark, smokey place, I’ll just keep on going.

Yeah, I’ve been there:

Well I been deep down in that darkness
I been down to my last match
Felt a hundred different demons
Breathing fire in my back
And I knew that if I stumbled
I’d fall right into the trap that they were laying, Yeah

But the good news
Is there’s angels everywhere out on the street
Holding out a hand to pull you back upon your feet


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Fool Me Once…Won’t Get Fooled Again(The Who)

This song seemed rather poignant for me today for some reason – especially that first verse.  How many revolutions, both literal and figurative, will be fought over hard and fast definitions of morality and doctrine?

Battle lines are drawn and blood is shed – literally and figuratively.  And for what?  For the pleasure of being in the right;  to lord it over those who don’t believe the same things we do; to claim victory; and to revel in another’s defeat.

We’ll be fighting in the streets
With our children at our feet
And the morals that they worship will be gone
And the men who spurred us on
Sit in judgement of all wrong
They decide and the shotgun sings the song