Out From Under the Umbrella

playing in the rain


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Sealed with a Kiss

 

US-VOTE-REPUBLICANS-CONVENTION

Photo credit:  TIMOTHY A. CLARY/AFP/Getty Images©

 

Now Mike Pence knows what it feels like to be groped by an entitled old white guy.  Just like a woman, he closed his eyes, hoped for the moment to soon pass, and thought, “someone, please, just tell me when it’s over.”

I wonder if this is what it looked like when Judas kissed Jesus.  Just.so.uncomfortable.

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Trump Campaign Defector Speaks Out

This article sums up exactly what many of us have been saying about Donald Trump for a long time. This former Trump campaign strategist speaks out at great risk. Volunteers of the Trump campaign were compelled to sign a contract stating that they would not say anything negative about the candidate now or in the future. Or ever.

What I’ve seen the longer I’ve helped prop him up along with the millions who are helping Trump is that we got the slogan wrong. A more accurate internal slogan would read, “Let Trump Help Trump.”

I don’t dismiss any single Trump constituent, which is why I believe it’s important to let you know that the candidate does.*

I, too, think our country has gone off track in its values. I, too, think that we need a dramatic change of course. But I am, in my heart, a policy wonk and a believer in coming to the table with necessary knowledge for leading the free world.

The man does not know policy, nor does he have the humility to admit what he does not know — the most frightening position of all.

*Emphasis mine


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An Explanation for Trump’s Popularity from Shallow Hal

Shallow.Hal

He’s a pro. He’s the best.  Just ask him.

He’s as racist, bigoted, and misogynistic as people feel.  We need an exterminator to take care of the problem.

Trouble is, nobody’s asking, and even if they are they don’t care about the answer, how he’s going to do this.

So you’ve hired an exterminator, you’ve given him carte blanche to deal with the problem.  You leave it to him.  He says, “Believe me, I’m the best.  No raccoon has ever gotten the better of me.  Raccoons are losers and I’m a winner.”

You trot off to work, leaving him to fix your problem, without even asking for a plan of action.  You carry on, blissfully, throughout your day knowing when you get home those damned raccoons will be gone.  Oh, happy day.

The exterminator calls you, just after lunch to tell you that the problem has been resolved.  He’s taken care of it and those pesky raccoons won’t bother you any more.  He’s left a bill in your mailbox.

On your drive home you’re singing along with the radio – rocking out, actually – excited to get home to your peaceful, beautiful, raccoon-free home.

You turn down your street and there are people standing out in front of what used to be your house. The only thing left standing is the mailbox.  It’s been raised.  Flattened to the ground.  He used explosives and blew it to smithereens.

Sure enough, just as he said, there’s a bill in the mailbox.  It’s more than you can afford.  And he blew your damned house up!  You’re not paying that bill.

Except you ring him up to tell him so and he says that, yes, you will pay the bill.  He did what was requested.  You said you wanted those raccoons gone, and you wanted them gone pronto.  He did that.  You never asked how that would be accomplished.  You didn’t discuss the terms of any agreement.  Only that you agreed to pay him to get rid of the raccoons which he did.

And if you don’t pay the bill he’ll see you in court!

May the gods help us all.  Ain’t America great?

 


50 Comments

The End is Nigh

end-of-the-worldIn 2012, Chuck Norris, the kick-ass king of martial arts and star of Walker, Texas Ranger, produced a video with his wife predicting “1000 years of darkness” if Obama won a second term.  In it he proclaims, ““If we look to history, our great country and freedom are under attack. We’re at a tipping point and, quite possibly, our country as we know it may be lost forever if we don’t change the course in which our country is headed.”

Dun, dun. dunnnnnnn…….

Now he’s making more *cough* predictions.

According to him Barry O. is now importing Muslims into the U.S. illegally, is going to grant them amnesty, and get them Nationalized before the 2016 election to make sure the democratic nominee for the presidential election wins. He states, :

That’s a pretty tall order.  Also fairly impossible.  Frankly, I’m mad as hell.  TheBrit hasn’t gotten his letter urging him to naturalize.

First of all it’s obvious that Norris and those who are buying this equine fecal heap have no idea how the immigration system works.  Second of all it’s obvious that Norris nor those who are buying this equine fecal heap have no idea what President Obama’s immigration plan even is.  Furthermore that plan has been blocked by the Federal Court.

So….no, President Obama does not now, nor has he ever had a “strategy to “seed your communities” with at least 70,000 refugees a year, including Iraqis, Burmese, Bhutanese, Somalis, Cubans, Syrians and others. And the numbers of Syrians, mostly Muslim, will surpass them all,” as envisioned by Norris.

President Obama’s plan was not amnesty.  It was not a plan to get undocumented immigrants naturalized by the 2016 election.  That’s a fairly ridiculous assertion.  President Obama’s plan was to get undocumented immigrants documented.  They would have to pay a fine for being here illegally.  They would have go to the back of the line for long-term permanent residency. They would have to pass all the background checks to make sure they aren’t criminals.  Then and only then would they be documented.

But there’s no way on this green earth that we’re going to round up all the illegals and send them back where they came from.  Obama’s plan would be far less expensive than that.  It would weed out the criminals, who could/would then be rounded up and sent back where they came from or sent to jail depending on where they committed their crimes.

According to Norris, PJ Media obtained an internal letter written by Leon Rodriquez, director and co-chair of the Task Force on New Americans, which refers to a White House report called, ‘Strengthening Communities by Welcoming All Residents’.  Norris claims this letter states, “This report outlines an immigrant integration plan that will advance our nation’s global competitiveness and ensure that the people who live in this country can fully participate in their communities.” The horror!

Then Norris adds, “Of course, “fully participate” is code for granting voting rights and specifically re-electing a Democrat president.”

What a cunning and diabolical plan!  Mwhahahaha!  I can see the President wringing his hands and using a villainous laugh as the smoke rises from beneath his feet.  And it’s genius.  Except it can’t happen.

Could it be that “fully participate” means legal employment, paying taxes, having to participate in the Affordable Care Act, and going to school?

Nah, that would make too much sense.

The reason why TheBrit didn’t get his letter, though, is an interesting one.  He came here legally.  Which means he’s in line in the order in which he applied for long term permanent residency behind all the ones in front of him.  He’s not even eligible to apply for naturalization for at least another year.  And those 9 million green card holders?  If they’re holding a green card they’re here legally.  They can only naturalize if they’re eligible to naturalize.  There are a lot of green card holders who will never be eligible for anything more than a ten-year residency.

This whole conspiracy theory has so many flaws and holes in it it’s ridiculous.

The cherry on top?  The icing on the cake?  Norris finishes his diatribe with this crescendo, “Obama has literally helped build the environment for the Apocalypse, as defined by both Muslims and Christians.”

Take heed and look to the skies, my friends, the end is nigh.