Out From Under the Umbrella

playing in the rain

Somewhere Down There

21 Comments

Every once in a while, and less and less often, I get into a funk of sorts. Not a good one like this, either:

It’s like I’m in a deep, deep, hole and can barely see the light of day beaming down through a pinhole at the top. I’m somewhere down there.

Then I envision myself scratching at the sides, piling the dirt beneath my feet.  A little at a time I can build myself up until maybe, just maybe, I can climb out.  When I get like that I feel like I need to kick ass and take names, but just whose ass and whose names I do not know.

So I kick my own.  First I kick it for feeling this way and then I kick it into high gear.  I run.  I do pushups.  I lift light weights.  I ride my bike.  I need to sweat.  I need to punish something.

I want to write but I have no idea what.  I’m blank.  Yet I have a million thoughts in my head that won’t shut off.

I don’t want to cry.  I don’t want to be down in the hole.  I don’t want to take it out on someone else.

It’s time for one of our Little Talks.

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21 thoughts on “Somewhere Down There

  1. Mark Ronson played at the farm next to mine last month Ruth, and closed his fabulous set with that same tune; here it is if you’re interested:

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You can throw stones at anything. Just be sure to not break glass or kill a Goliath

    Liked by 1 person

    • Do not throw stones if you live in a glass house.

      If I throw stones at a Goliath I will most certainly try to kill him. Nothing worse than an angry giant!

      Like

  3. Just don’t kick my ass. I’m fragile.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. I’m sorry that you feel this way. I’ve been where you are and it’s shitty.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Awww. . .Ruth. . .sending you hugs and wishing I could ‘channel’ a giant vacuum to suck out the million thoughts of yours, bouncing around your noggin. . . but I have an idea that most really smart people are afflicted with this. Besides, you’ve already identified your coping mechanisms. (I’d suggest another physical activity but you’d blush. .) 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    • Hugs back at you! Please don’t use the giant vacuum on me, though. I need the little bit of brain I have left.

      Um, another activity? Do you think I have tried that one out, too? 😉

      Like

  6. Umm, that video is weird. Don’t mind the beat but I confess sometimes I can’t make head nor tails out of videos. The mood certainly seems clear though. As you know, the reason I haven’t been around is because of a really down time. I’m starting to come out of it but the impact of this last cycle has stunned me. I’m sorry about this funk you are in. (((hug))) ❤

    Like

    • I definitely liked it better when videos told a story. That one is kind of out there. But I really like the song and I really like that group. Thankfully my funk didn’t last too long this time. I do understand, though. I’m glad you’re finding your way out of it, too. {{{{{Zoe}}}}}

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Thank you all for your comments and especially the hugs. I’m doing this from my phone because my modem died. I’ll be back soon to reply to you all properly.

    Hugs back at you all!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I know this feeling. Good on you for giving it the kick in the pants, which I know is a lot harder than it sounds. Hang in there, you are awesome.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks, Lane! It is definitely a conundrum of sorts, isn’t it? You know you need to get out, get active, and stay engaged, but those are precisely the things you don’t.feel.like.doing. o_O

      Like

  9. ‘Was saddened to hear that your modem died. RIP Modem ?- 2015

    (but seriously, ‘hope dry humor cheered you up and that positive energy prevails)

    Liked by 1 person

  10. {{{{BIG OL’ HUGS}}}}

    If it helps any, it isn’t just you. I get those, too.

    Here, have some Red Pandas Playing In The Snow. That always makes me feel better.

    Liked by 1 person

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